Bread and The Truth

I'm a blogger ! Well I will be when I  submit this first post . And hopefully this will be the start of something BIG !!
Its  been surprisingly easy so far.  Although I know anything could happen ( and probably will ) I am not exactly a  computer whizz kid !

I hope I don't write a masterpiece (  I know I am unlikely to, at least  not tonight ! ) and then lose the whole thing in cyber space. OMG that would be awful ! Even if its just stuff like this , I am actually quite protective about my little musings .
Well that last was a little aha moment..... amazing what comes out of your mind when writing. Perhaps that is why I tend to keep my stuff private ( not exactly a helpful attitude for someone with aspirations of fame  is it ! ) But I guess inviting judgements is part of the territory.
Maybe this will be a great exercise for me. If anyone actually ever reads it .

But if it all does disappear I shall resist saying just my luck since I understand the concept of cause and effect perfectly !

 Anyway,  I have a question , what I would like  to know is this , when does a blogger become an author ?
I can't wait for replies that may never come so  I just looked it up on my I Phone dictionary . The answer , as interpreted by moi is  that, in one sense, I am an author now. 

 Hooray!  Here is what it says , "noun- someone who originates , causes or initiates something "
Well, I have.

 Haven't I?
This, this blog,  is definitely something! Everything is something. Except maybe not. Mmm.... this   is a bigger  concept  than is a blogger an author and one that I am trying to understand at the moment . And I don't think the answer can be found on my I phone !

Another time.....

Then it ( the i phone dictionary )  goes on  and pricks my tiny bubble by saying " writes ( books, stories, articles or the like ) professionally (for pay )
That's the idea !That is what I want ! To get paid for something . Anything !

This morning I got a phone call from one of the market research companies I get an occasional little job from. I used to think it was money for old rope but actually its usually not. They want their pound of flesh like anyone.  

So the interviewer marketing lady heard my croaky voice and nearly hung up straight away since the job ( such as it is )  requires a fair bit of  talking. Then she said, would you like to do  bread on Wednesday,( not make bread, just answer questions about my bread habit )  £50 for 2 hours. So I said yes  please  but I perked up from my snotty lethargy  a little  bit,  thinking yeah ,  maybe things are looking up !
Right she said, do you eat bread every day? Pretty much I said. Right answer. And where do you buy it ? Supermarket said I .Right answer again. What kind of bread ?  My mind scanned my bread bin over the last week or two and I answered " seeded "
WRONG . No job.No  fifty quid for old rope.
BUGGER.
They wanted any other kind of bread EXCEPT seeded !
What a bummer. And its not even completely true ! I have pitta bread all the time and challa on Fridays and bagels on Sundays and horrible unhealthy sliced  white occasionally  when I fancy a specific sandwich.  Specifically - Bacon. Which is quite an admission since I am a Jewish Buddhist Pescacarian ! Bacon is Forbidden by all of them .  But I am working on giving up . And it is  really, really  occasional.

I am trying to think of this  lost opportunity as just  another of life's lessons . Far less painful than my past  lessons that's for sure !  They usually involve men and huge issues such is trust.  They would have provided  some REALLY interesting blogs ! I am hoping that I am now older and wiser but I wouldn't bet on it.  I have this very nice quality that tends to only  see the good in people. Until they do something so utterly diabolical that I have to face the fact that I kissed another frog. 

 

Anyway, back to sliced loaves.   So, this particular  lesson, lest I forget  is :  Do not be specific. Answer  vaguely. Or  answer questions with a question till I am  completely  sure I  know what they want to hear. Tell small ( minute , teeny )  white lie only  if absolutely necessary as fifty quids do not grow on trees . And  even though I try never to tell even a  tiny lie ( other than  the ones we all know  we have to , such as do I really look alright in this hideous dress  ) I ask you  would Warburton's or Sunblest give a FF  that I am going through   a  little patch of  seeded batch at the moment ? I can be fickle. About bread. And I could have  answered  questions that would be really helpful to them about rye or granary or thick sliced toaster, anything. I  even know about home made bread, such as the loaf my daughter in law  Nina made for me recently in her huge,  new,  wedding present, a  bread maker that still  lives in its box and makes the kitchen smell like Greggs. I am pretty much a bread expert now I come to think about it. And yet I was rejected !

Oh well.

 

 I  have been pondering if I can afford New Year retreat  ( another blog  subject to come, I will never run out of subjects    ) and that would have been my excuse as then I would only have to justify the remaining  £210  of the cost.

Did you hear what I just said ? ANOTHER BLOG!!
That means that I will have to do this again and that means I might be making a tiny step towards being a Famous Author.

 Is this enough for a first time ? Am I excused more on the grounds that I have been poorly in bed with all kinds of itis-es . As in Laryngitis, Pharyngitis, Tonsillitis. I think this  is  more than enough so see you another day .

 

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